Guilt

'It's the guilt that eat your soul'
My friend said when i told him few mounth ago.
I can't sleep
I can't stop thinking
I feel useless and worthless
It's the guilt, for the things i have done, the things i haven't done yet, and the things that i just done right now. Why am i doing it now, not since long ago
I question myself alot
I don't get any answer, it only leads to other question, then other question, then other question.
I ask him, 'how to stop this?'
My brain won't stop
Pray he said
Give yourself to God he said
I did it
I never know how amazing it is
How good it's feels like
Just surrender and give myself to Him
All of this makes me experience tranquility
He shower me with peacefullness that i always looking for
I found a little bit light, i think i can see the end of the tunnel now, even just a bit.
A bit at the start, i see it growing bigger and bigger.
The light goes brighter and brighter everyday
Even the end of the tunnel still kinda blurry
My guilt become stronger, but i relief i have it now
At least i have it, at least i can try lot of diffrent way to be better
Until then..
I won't lose, my soul will eat the guilt
‌Or we will standing side to side. Happy ever after. Together. Forever.